The Sound of One Man Juggling

OneManJuggling

 

When I was learning to become an auctioneer I was taught juggling.  I did not learn it.

Similarly, several teachers have crossed my path along this wondrous journey of ebbs and flows, carousels and roller-coasters.  Often times my teachers have not been formally recognised as such.  Many times they are the most annoying of people and rarely do they know that I am learning, or of what I learn.  Patience has been a long time coming.

Of the formal teachers I have known I am extremely thankful whether I have learned a great deal or little. Teaching is so much like casting for fish I have found, and some fish never get caught.  I have learned a little from some and more than one would realise from others.  It turns out my greatest attribute is a ‘love of learning’ I am informed of by viaCharacter.org.    My psychologist Rhonda urged me to fill in the 120 questionnaire and I did and subsequently I discovered that, according to the good doctors, I love learning, I make fine judgments and have a wicked sense of humour.

Those who know me may argue, pointlessly.  It is now proven by the greatest in medical research.  I told you I was funny!

The point of the exercise though, was to find what I like to do and am interested in and to pursue those things in order to be happy a majority if the time. (She is treating me for depression)  And blow me down…it works!  The day after I did the exam and received my results with footnotes (more insights may be granted for a small fee which I didn’t pay), I felt cured.  I awoke with a renewed determination to end my days of lethargy, indifference and solitude.  I would from this day forth focus on learning, judging, and being kind and grateful and funny for the benefit of others.  Phoof!  I am transformed.

It was wonderful.  I can admit that in my recent past, there have been similar moments of instantaneous exaltation.  (as opposed to instantaneous combustion if which I’m still terrified!). Usually they last for around 4 days, I blame it on bi-polarity, and go back to my doona and books. (doona is Australian for quilted blanket)  This time I made one of my fatal recurring errors.

On or about the morning of the fifth day after the quiz (AQ), I made a list of things to do on the new moon.  Another self-improvement checklist, if you will.  It’s not that Rhonda has kept it a secret that I’m perfect just the way I am.  It’s not that I disagree with her and all my Buddhist teachers too that ‘Right here, right now, all is well’.

I can’t seem to help myself.

So, for the time being it’s two steps forward and one step backward. And that’s all I want – standing still is impossible. Improvement is probable. Right now is all I have.

 

2 thoughts on “The Sound of One Man Juggling

  1. Thanks Mike. I love your honesty and the way you write from the heart with gentle humour. For me life can definitely seem like a juggling act sometimes and the world a circus. So its good to smile, laugh, applaud,cry and just be with what is. I have lots of room for improvement. Thankyou 🙂

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